In Vince I Trusted

Off on a tangent #79 Break-ups shouldn't be this bad

SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN "THE BREAK-UP" AND PLAN ON DOING SO, THEN DON'T READ THIS NEW POST. OR READ IT AND GO SEE "X-MEN" AGAIN -- Y'ALL WILL THANK ME LATER!

The break-up was bad.
No, not my break-up. I didn't break up with anyone.
I mean the movie. "The Break-Up." It was bad.

Now listen. I like chick flicks, I like Vince Vaughn, and I can even tolerate Jennifer Aniston at times -- but this movie . Half the time I was rooting for Vaughn to dump her and the rest of the time wishing someone else was acting opposite him. I decided at this moment that Aniston is not a good actress; she's the same person in all her movies. Maybe she was meant to be Rachel, and that's all.

We see an opening montage of the happy couple, laughing, kissing and opening Christmas presents. It got that "ah" factor out of me, but that soon quickly faded as the movie went on. The more I watched, the less I believed they could ever be in a committed relationship -- much less for two years. I know opposites attract, but they were beyond opposite -- they were wrong for each other.

So why am I blogging about this?
1) I go to an abundance of movies; they're my way of escaping from life. Some watch TV, some go to the gym, some drink. I go to the movies.
2) Sometimes you'll see yourself a little in one of the characters. I spent the first half of the movie rooting for Vaughn and the last half siding with her -- I should have bought a bigger ICEE.

So get some popcorn, a large coke, and some Goobers; the break up's about to begin.

Vince Vaughn as Gary Grobowski: I sat there and agreed with a good number of things he said, thinking to myself, "Shouldn't I be siding with Aniston?" Nope. I was with him. They could do the dishes later, and the apartment was big enough for a pool table (he wanted one; she said when they got a bigger place). She wanted him to go to the ballet with her; he hated the ballet -- why didn't she take one of her friends who actually liked "Swan Lake"? When she broke up with him, I thought "there it is, your out, run, don't look back, forget about the condo. RUN." But then it hit me. He didn't do anything she wanted, he didn't take her feelings into account, he didn't "get" her. So I spent the next part of the movie wanting him to realize what was going on, for the light bulb to go off above his head. Oh, and that guys suck.

Jennifer Aniston as Brooke Meyers: As I watched the first half of the movie, I found myself wanting her to shut up and stop whining. Seriously, "Baby wanted 12 lemons for a centerpiece." Twelve lemons. Who does she think she is -- Martha Stewart? She "wanted him to want to do the dishes." I'm with Vaughn: "No one wants to do the dishes." But then I saw myself in her; I was the scorned ex who wanted payback and acted immature, who obsessed about it, rather than letting go and moving on. I was the one who wept and had nothing else to give in the relationship. At that moment, I called the BFF to apologize for my behavior. (She was one of the people who had to hear about all that crap.) I didn't mean to be a nut. And to all the other BFFs from puberty on: I owe y'all a drink, or several. I never meant to be "that girl."

So where does this leave us? I'll skip Aniston-heavy movies, and instead watch "Friends" reruns on TBS. I still believe in Vaughn. I mean he did do "Wedding Crashes" and "Swingers." He did teach us about being, "So money." But I wish he had bought baby the 12 lemons; maybe then the movie would have ended sooner.

Can't wait for: "Entourage" Season 3 to premiere next Sunday