And it begins ...

It has begun.
When "the others" begin to invade us.
When they start to take over our restaurants, our shops, and our parking spaces.
Yes, my friends, it has begun.

The invasion of ... the bennies.
At least with the invasion of the Fantanas, I get surgary orange soda. But with the bennies, I mostly just get a headache. OK, so they are not all that bad, but seriously, can you not block the driveway?

Now y'all know what I'm talking about. People tried to warn me about it; they told me it would change in the summer. They tried to tell me that the Shore would magically triple in population during the summer.

I didn't listen.

I figured it would be no big deal; I mean I did go to the largest university in the United States with more than 50,000 students and 20,000 faculty and staff. So what were a few more people during the summer, right?

Wrong! Totally wrong.

I really had no idea. They seem to come from everywhere and invade everything. So to help you with the summer, here are some tidbits I've learned about the Jersey Shore:

1) Speedos should be reserved for professional swimmers and water polo players. Really, guys, board shorts are so much nicer.
2) Guys, those girls didn't date you in college or high school -- please give it up. It doesn't matter how many hurricanes they've had. No, really, I hear the stories and then I might blog about them. You wouldn't want that, would you?
3) The "frat daddy" quota nearly triples during the summer. Now, don't get me wrong, I have some dear friends who were in frats, so I'm not dissing frats. You ladies know what I mean when I say "frat daddy" they're a specific breed of "gentleman."
4) Beware of drunken people walking down the streets in dark clothing coming back from bars on Main Street. No, really, you never know when one might slide off the sidewalk.
5) And finally -- if all else fails, take the train to the City and invade their territory. It's what I do.

On iTunes: "Almost Famous" Soundtrack